Let it Rain
by Tilt23
Summary: This is a story my little sister stole from me. I hope that someone likes it. I'm not sure where to take it, feedback would help. I thought that another character would fit into the story and better explain it. Officialy, I call it a turbulent romance.


Let It Rain

By Jennifer Travis

(NOTE: This book takes place after the events of Twilight and during New Moon.)

Let it Rain

It started like this. It always started like this. It was a rainy day, but that happened often in Forks. The lush greenery was a welcome sight to my tired eyes every morning. It always was and it probably always would be, green. Green and secretive. These woods held more of my secrets than anyone could understand. It wasn't like I buried things here or did things here, in the trees with trunks as thick as I was tall and a hundred times as old. The forest held my pain. The trees consoled me when no one else did and it was better than being in a desert.

I had exactly one friend, Jacob Black. We had been friends since I could remember. Six months ago Bella Swan moved back to town and things were never the same between Jacob and I. He started to see me as a woman, but only when Bella felt threatened. Bella said something to him and he stopped talking to me four months ago. There was only one hitch, Bella Swan was in love with Edward Cullen. Edward showed no interest in her and she showed just enough interest in Jacob to have him in the palm of her hand, but not enough to sate him. Jacob was always in a state of perpetual want. He wanted Bella, but she wanted Edward.

Having given you all the facts, I can safely tell you what I wish I could have just said at the start. Isabella Swan ruined my life. Before her, I had a friend. Friends may not mean a lot to those who have many, but to me they mean everything. Jacob Black was my entire universe and then it went dark. Pitch black. Bella took everything from me and the kicker was that she didn't even want Jacob as anything more than some lovesick groupie she threw an occasional bone at. Even worse was the fact that she had no idea how much she took from me or how much she took from Jacob, at least that's what I wanted to think. That he missed me. I wanted to think that Jacob missed me and that he spent half as much time wanting to see me as I spent wanting to see him, but that was a lie.

There are many types of lies. Lies that hurt the people we tell them to, lies that are designed not to hurt the people we tell them to, lies that we tell children about Santa and the Easter Bunny, lies we tell to our parents when we skip school or break a favorite dish, and then there are the worst kind of lies. The worst kind of lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We might tell ourselves that the boy in the next house gave that special look. We might tell ourselves that we're funny or prettier than we are. But, the worst lies we can tell ourselves are the ones that hurt the most when they collapse. I deluded myself for years. I thought that the only thing I could ever hope for was Jacob's friendship. That was a truth, but the lie was that he would always want to be my friend. I told myself that he needed me as much as I needed him, but that was wrong. The only good thing about this was the fact that I didn't even know how much I really cared for him until he was gone. I loved Jacob Black, but it was too late to even talk to him. He wouldn't answer the phone anyway. The pathetic thing was that I would answer him any day of the week even at three in the morning.

Today was just another day for me. It was another terrible day without my only friend. Just for fun or rather another hit of pain, I called Jacob before school. No answer, I left a message that he would never care about.

"You know it's been exactly four months since I've seen you? I guess it's easy for you to just forget, but it's harder for me. A lot harder. I know talking to me is something you can't do and I know I've done stupid things and I might not even be worth your time, but when I ever become someone you can stand to talk to, let me know. I don't even know why I called, this is stupid. God, I'm stupid."

Just a second before I hung up I heard a click and a breath. I wanted to say anything, but I knew I wasn't going crazy, this was real.

"You know I'm always here. Always and forever."

I said before I hung up. It was what I always said to him when he asked me if I was ever going to leave this little town. I would say that. When my father left me I was a few months old. When my mother left me to get a job as an international pilot and barely came back I was fourteen. When my universe crashed around me I was seventeen. One pitfall after another and I never saw them coming. I was stupid to think that there was another life outside of the pain. So, I let it all go away, but one thing. The last thing and he was never coming back no matter how hard I tried.

At least I got to tell him one more time. At least I got to say something before it started again. I thought about it while I drove to school in my mom's SUV. I had the thoughts I usually had on the way to school. What if I just made one yank on the steering wheel and died? Would it be so bad? The only way a suicide attempt would be bad was if I lived to have the questions thrown at me about why I did it and that would make living worse than death.

I relaxed and just got to the small brick school. I grabbed my bag and my shoulder was still sore from the last time I tried to talk to Jacob in person. It was a week ago and it hurt like hell. He never hit me. I pushed him and he pushed me back so hard I hit a tree and dislocated my right shoulder. He still didn't know how bad it was because he didn't stick around for the relocating of my shoulder. He was so strong lately and he had no idea how much he could do. I pushed him harder with words than I could push him with a thousand times my strength. Trying to push him was like trying to push a brick wall. He still hadn't gotten how strong he was.

Jacob was in the movement I called the transformation. Once Quileute boys started to get big it was a matter of months before they got huge. It was frightening to look around the cafeteria at boys I used to see getting beat up who now looked like they could lift cars with no effort. Jacob was one of the first to start and he was the most impressive. It made it harder for me to see him knowing that he was so handsome. It sounds stupid, but it made this all worse. The way he used to look at me was something I took for granted, but now, with his warm brown eyes, I would give anything for just one look the way he used to give me. I wore my messenger bag on my left shoulder to avoid the pain in my right. If Jacob noticed anything he didn't say it about the way I usually carried my books in my right arm which now just hung limply at my side aching with every swing to match my stride. My left arm was full of books. I was the first one here as always and this was the moment I hadn't been planning. How was I going to open the door? I was past caring about myself. The pain was actually comforting to me. It was the only thing that made me sure I was still alive. I was sure it was evident to anyone that I was in pain as I reached for the door. It was bad until I tried to open the door, then it was terrible. I cried out and dropped my arm painfully.

"When did you dislocate your shoulder?"

I heard a voice behind me and turned to see the new student. He had to be new or he wouldn't be here for another hour. He was beyond all expectations. He was amazing to look at, but it only slowed me for a second. I was pretty much past the whole gawking at hot guys thing and just talked back to fill the moments until he decided never to speak to me again.

"Friday. It's nothing."

"Actually, it looks like you came pretty close to a tear in the muscle attachment."

Who was he? It was strange that he would either know or care about this. The guy before me was tall with coppery brown hair and the most amazing amber eyes I'd ever seen. He was paler than most in this sunless town with angled features that made him look scary coupled with his gaze. His words were nice, but I think something about him was dangerous. He was gorgeous and perfectly formed in every way. I could see the hard, toned muscles in the outline of his arms and chest under his gray long sleeved t-shirt. At least he wore jeans. I usually wore jeans and a t-shirt. The temperature of this time of year usually bothered me, but not this year. My arm hurt too bad to put my long blonde hair up and in the wind the wavy strands were starting to annoy me by getting in my eyes. I reached up to get them out of my eyes and the strike of pain made me gasp.

"You should really get that looked at."

He said with a slight look of concern.

"I'm fine. Just my stupid hair always gets in the way."

"Stupid? I think it's beautiful, but that's just my opinion."

"You're too kind. Don't lose that here. It's all too easy."

He took a second and an odd look to respond.

"I'll take that under advisement. I'm Edward Cullen, by the way."

"Katherine Stone."

"Haven't heard that one in a while."

"Glad to be an anomaly."

Edward didn't quite know what to say to that. He opened the door for me nicely and we somehow managed to get the same homeroom. He was quiet the rest of the day and I guessed that was him deciding to never speak to me again. I was used to it more than anyone should ever have to be.

Jacob was in the same homeroom as me every year and he sat far away. Edward disappeared and I knew why. I was an idiot. I sat outside under the eaves of the school on a bench and watched the rain come down. Today was my weirdest day yet. I had to go through my day staring at the very man I was in love with. Call me pathetic and you would be right. I was sitting, alone, in the rain.

"What are you doing out here?"

Someone asked and I looked up. It was just Edward.

"I like rain. What are you doing out here."

"I like clouds."

He gave a response perfectly matched to mine. He was either smart or just too stupid to come up with a better answer.

"By all means, sit."

I said nicely and he sat on my right.

"I have to say that I had an ulterior motive in coming to find you."

"Oh?"

I asked. I wasn't crossing my fingers that he came to kiss me or anything. While he was inhumanly attractive, he wouldn't consider me for a moment.

"I can't stand the sight of a woman in pain. If you would just allow me to correct the considerable damage you have done to your shoulder, I would leave you alone to enjoy the rain."

He said and I suppose there was no harm in letting him touch me.

"I guess. Are you studying to be a doctor or something?"

I asked as he carefully rotated my shoulder. It hurt, but I was used to pain.

"Or something."

He answered and I felt a crack in my shoulder. He smiled in triumph and released my arm. It hurt so much to move it, but I had a full range of motion. It was much better. At least I can drive with one hand.

"Thank you."

He nodded and stood to leave.

"You don't have to go."

Ugh, that was really stupid. I just looked away from him when he gave me a venomous look. It wasn't scary, well not to me, just a confirmation of what I already knew to be true. He didn't like me, he was just a chivalrous guy. Chivalry is dead or so they keep showing and telling me.

"It was strangely pleasant to meet you Katherine."

He said and I could hear him walking away.

"It was nice to meet you too."

I said, but he was too far away to hear it. I was sure of that. Out of the forest came the last person I wanted to see, Sam Uley. He was wearing ripped jeans and no shoes or shirt. Sam was around twenty-five with the russet Native American skin and black hair I saw every day. Me? I'm blonde with blue eyes. My mother was Quileute, but my father wasn't. I took after my blonde mother and as a result I really didn't fit in too well going to school near a Native American reservation. I actually have cute freckles. You can guess how I stand out from the crowd.

"Kat."

Sam acknowledged me and touched my shoulder as he sat next to me. Sam was, in a single word, a werewolf. I mean that both literally and figuratively. I'm not stupid, I can see what's happening to the men in our town. It's not just them either. Leah Clearwater has a hard time controlling her temper. We got into a fight and she started yelling at me and just changed. She makes a pretty wolf, but I digress.

Sam touched my right shoulder and I winced.

"Are you okay?"

He asked me with mild interest.

"Jacob. He's getting close."

I said and Sam nodded. Jacob was getting very close to changing into a wolf. It would happen in a few weeks or days even depending on what triggered it. I was getting close myself. I was the only one who knew before they changed. Sam made me promise not to tell and I didn't. I was a woman of my word.

"He did this to you?"

Sam asked, but he knew.

"He still doesn't know how strong he is."

Sam understood. Sam's girlfriend Emily has nasty scars over one side of her face because Sam lost his temper. Emily forgave him fully, but Sam would never forgive himself. He knew more about the werewolf temper than anyone.

"And you?"

"Maybe a few more weeks. My temperature is one-oh-six."

I said and Sam nodded. Wolf temperature was 108, so I was very close.

Sam was a very large man and he was scary. Most people thought he ran a cult with all the boys he recruited, but it was the vampires. The vampires made them this way by being close and activated something in the DNA of our people. Only some changed and I was in that group. It was the only thing that proved to Sam I was really Quileute. When I started getting warmer and stronger, he could tell. Sam was good at this.

"Cullen can smell it on you. Remember that he knows."

The Cullens were the vampires. There were seven of them. I knew all the names, but most of the wolves barely bothered with names for something they considered to be inhuman.

"I know. He's not half bad, but I know."

I said and Sam just waited. He liked to keep a close watch on his pack.

"I saw him fix your shoulder."

Sam said after a while and I thought about it.

"He is a doctor."

"Really?"

"He was good in the nineties. The internet has everything. You should try it sometime."

I said and he had to break the bruiser look with a smile.

"They show up in photos, huh?"

"Apparently so."

"Maybe he just wants to be around blood."

"Probably."

I agreed and the wolf liked that. He was the alpha. He liked it when people agreed with him.

"What kind of bruise does that make anyway?"

Sam asked. I slid my jacket off my right shoulder and he saw the very well defined hand print bruise on my skin. It was nasty.

"You can never tell him. I keep your secrets Sam."

"You should."

He meant that as a threat and I knew that. He was an intense guy. He could kill me easier than anyone should be able to. He merely had to hint at a threat and I would fall back into line. I'm not an easily rattled person, but anyone who wants to threaten a werewolf should update his or her will first. I carefully navigated this weird friendship I had with Sam. He kept me around and informed for reasons I didn't quite understand. Maybe he knew I would be allied with him one day. I wasn't sure, but I didn't want to mess with him all the same.

"It's not exactly a fair fight now is it?"

I asked him and he cooled quickly to a smile.

"No, it's not."

If I was expecting an apology from Sam Uley it would have to be for something a lot worse than that. Maybe he would admit fault if he almost killed me. No, probably not even then. He was a proud guy.

"Relax Sam. I'm not dumb enough to tell anyone. No one would believe me anyway."

"I know. You have a chance, you know."

"For what?"

"To do this right. You have fair warning."

"It's not like I can tell anyone. I might have some warning, but it'll happen for me the way it happened for everyone."

He nodded. He wasn't one for words.

"It's not right for Jacob to do what he did to you. That was not a fair fight."

Sam switched subjects quickly and somehow it seemed natural.

"If it was I would have given him some bruises of his own."

That made Sam smile.

"I know you would. I'm a guy who knows that everyone gets a second chance, whether or not they deserve it. If he hurts you again I can't look the other way."

Sam was nicer than he was with his pack. He was a firm leader and a good man.

"I know, Sam. You really want to leave right now don't you?"

"I really do."

He said with a smile and faded into the woods.

"Why were you talking to Sam?"

Jacob asked me and I turned to look at him. He was like the others, tall, Native American, and handsome. Maybe the handsome thing was especially applicable to Jacob Black. He had short black hair and he was a really big guy for seventeen.

"I can talk to whoever I want. You can talk to whomever you want. I think it's somewhere in the Constitution."

"Don't be cute with me Kat."

"Fine."

I said and he sat next to me on the metal bench.

"Tell me why you were talking to that weird guy."

He demanded and I blew him off.

"Make me."

I said simply enough and stood to leave. I could hear the bell inside even though it was too faint for humans to hear through the brick walls. It got cold here in winter and the school was well sealed against the frost.

"Kat."

He grabbed my wrist. It hurt.

"Let go."

He instantly let me go and saw the makings of a bruise on my left wrist. He was so strong.

"Kat your wrist…"

He said. He still didn't know how strong he was. It wasn't even going to be that bad, just a light bruise. He was going to change any day now while I might have another month. The bruise on my shoulder was healing already and would most likely be gone by tomorrow. It hadn't been healing because, as Edward pointed out, I messed it up. I was at a loss as to why he was here at a Quileute school when it defied the boundaries, but the school was so close to the line that he could get away with it. I knew the Cullen vampires went to school with humans for reasons I was unsure of. I knew Jacob loved Bella and I knew that Bella spent all day at school, with Edward. Bella was a weak girl and she would no doubt be hard to protect. Jacob would try as hard as he could for her, but she had no idea what was good for her and what wasn't.

"You okay?"

Jacob asked at the faraway look in my eyes and I smiled.

"Of course I am. It's nice when we pretend to be friends again."

He was at a loss for words and I went back inside. The bell was just sounding a second time and I was going to miss it. Most wolves dropped out of school when they changed. It was too hard to be in school and deal with vampires as a werewolf. I always hated school anyway. At least being a wolf had some perks, but my strength wouldn't catch up until I changed. It was different for the boys who got the strength first and then the wolf senses, but the girls developed in reverse with senses first and then strength. Sam was hanging around because he knew Jacob was next. Then me. At least, I was sure I would go after Jacob. It was a close race. One that I would like to win, but my competitive nature had to be kept in check even before I started changing.

Today after school, I decided to do something interesting. I crossed the boundary line. Just to see what would happen. Sam wasn't exactly truthful about the vampires constantly patrolling their side of the line. I could smell them everywhere on this side, but they weren't here. It was a little scary to be here. It was raining like it always was here and even though it was daylight it felt dark. The sky was overcast and I actually liked it. I really did.

"Ah, I see they are sending women now."

A voice behind me said and I turned to see Edward Cullen.

"No one sent me. Call it boredom."

"Then I will try not to disappoint you."

He said with a nice smile. It struck me that he was like a cat. They might be capable of killing at any moment, but first they had to play with the little mice. I was up for a game.

"Great. If you'll excuse me, I have an idiot to stop."

I said and both Edward and I observed Jacob walking through the woods. He was going to see Bella. His car was broken again it would seem. Edward talked to me under his breath.

"He doesn't know we're here?"

The words came like a hiss at the farthest end of the sound spectrum.

"No."

I barely said and Edward minutely nodded.

"Where is he going?"

"Probably to see Bella."

"Why Bella?"

He asked with heavy concern.

"If she hasn't told you Jacob's in love with her she either doesn't know or doesn't care."

"Which is worse?"

He asked me in a moment of vulnerability I wasn't expecting.

"I'm not sure. If she hasn't told you, it's because she still thinks Jacob is an option. If she doesn't know, it's because she either doesn't want to know or doesn't care which would make her either heartless or an idiot."

I wasn't being mean to Bella because that wasn't who I was. I was being honest.

"Is that who Bella Swan is?"

"From what I know, no. Jacob will kill me for telling you this, so I'll only say it once. Isabella Swan is probably the least normal person you could hope to find. That's good for you. Not so good for Jacob. He's the normal type. He wants the life in suburbia, but Bella wants…Whatever she wants, it's not Jacob."

I had no idea what Bella Swan wanted, but I suppose I should ask her.

"Why would you be so honest with me when it would be hurting Jacob?"

Edward asked me and his gold eyes burned into my soul.

"No matter what Jacob thinks, this is her choice and it will always be her choice. I may not know much about Bella, but if she's even remotely human she'll do what she wants when she wants."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

He said and I had to smile.

"Vampires have fears?"

"If I told you what I feared I wouldn't be quite so fearsome."

"Great. Seeing as how Bella is on your side I'd like to talk to her."

"Why?"

"Never you mind why. I'll go whether you like it or not. I'm still human for a few more weeks. The treaty doesn't apply to me yet."

"How devious. By all means, go. As you so kindly put it the treaty doesn't apply to you."

"Don't worry Edward. When it does I will ask properly before I visit your property."

"She isn't my property."

"Good, you just got some brownie points."

I said with a sly smile and he got it. I baited him and he passed the test.

"I will have to watch you."

"Probably."

I said and started walking. Jacob was not taking the most efficient way because his senses were still human. I was taking the way that avoided the wolves patrolling and made it to the small house Bella Swan inhabited with her father, Police Chief Charlie Swan. He was not home yet. It was only four in the afternoon and I knocked on the door. There was a very old rusty red truck in the driveway. It must be hers. She opened the door and I saw why she was coveted by men. She was beautiful. Her long brown hair hung down her back in gentle waves and her big brown eyes were the perfect shade of chocolate. Her porcelain skin was pale and without makeup her lips were the right shade of light pink. She was maybe too thin, but still very beautiful. She had no idea who I was of course, but something told me she would listen.

"Can I help you?"

She asked after a while. I smiled.

"Maybe you can. I'm Kat, I'm a friend of Jacob's."

I explained and her intrigue got the better of her. She was open to weird things, so of course she would fit in here.

"I'm Bella, but I guess you know that."

She said and invited me in. I sat on her beat up brown couch and started talking to her.

"Jacob is going to come and see you tonight and that is not a good thing."

"I know. He doesn't understand."

"And he never will if you keep this up."

She knew this. She hung her head.

"Jacob's never mentioned you to me. Not once."

"I was sure of that. I do exist as you can see."

"Are you a vampire? I don't mean to be rude or anything, but if you are…"

"No. Why would you think that?"

I asked, a little surprised.

"You're so pretty and all the vampires I've met are as pretty as you. I don't think I've ever met an average vampire."

She said, a little embarrassed.

"No, I'm not a vampire. I've met your vampire though."

"Edward? He isn't exactly my…"

"He is. He may not have told you as much, but he is."

"He's told me, but I sort of don't believe it, you know?"

She asked and I liked her. I did. She might have ruined my life, but I had the chance to ruin hers and I didn't. I could have told Edward Cullen anything but the truth and yet I couldn't lie. Changing fate isn't my thing.

"I know. I can't believe anything about vampires or whatever else might be out there."

It was obvious that she knew nothing about werewolves and it was so far from my place to tell her that Jacob was anything but human. He never did show up. I was sure that Sam stopped him and Sam was right to. I was counting on it.

"What else can there be?"

Bella asked and I pretended to think about it.

"Vampires have to have some natural predators. They can't just be the best."

"Yeah, that sounds about right."

She agreed and we got to really talking. She was not who I thought she was. After an hour of talking to her, I got the strangest smell. Like a vampire, but not any I'd smelled. It was familiar for some reason and Bella noticed my pause.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, just tired. School."

"I know what you mean. I'm not really a school person."

She agreed with a smile and I joined the long line of people who liked Bella Swan. She was nice, but she had terrible judgment. Awful. I don't think she stopped to think before she did things, but that alone didn't make her any less of a woman, it did make her sort of dumb. As I left, she said something interesting.

"Kat, I don't have a lot of friends and it would be great if we could meet again."

She was very shy and I couldn't help but smile.

"Of course. We have Jacob in common. He's my only friend too."

That made her smile. I think she was less shy then she wanted people to believe. I liked the rouse. She thought I was a part of this weird stuff and her intuition was right. She wanted to talk to me to find out more of what I knew and I was fine with that. I was bored anyway.

I left Bella's house and got a few hundred yards before the vampire that was stalking Bella revealed itself to me. The vampire was small and very beautiful. She had dark hair cut short and spiky around her face. She had the same golden eyes as Edward and I could smell him on her along with several others. One more than the rest, but not Edward. She was pale like Edward with angular features.

"Hi there."

She said with a big smile. It was to put me at ease and it wasn't working.

"What do you want vampire?"

I was defensive. I had a right to be.

"Maybe we got off on the wrong foot. I'm Alice Cullen."

"You're a Cullen vampire."

"That I am."

She said with a smile.

"He is too?"

I asked with a nod to my left.

"Hey."

A very large vampire said as he appeared from the trees. He was tall with broad shoulders and short dark hair. He was more of the All American type then the sinister vampire type. He had the same golden eyes and I was starting to think that all vampires had that. This guy was really, really good looking and I never quite felt that way looking at anyone else. The way he was appraising me, I got that the feeling was mutual.

"I'm Kat Stone."

I said to both of them and the big one seemed interested in that while Alice ignored him.

"I'm Emmet Cullen. It's nice to meet you."

He said charmingly and I ignored him like Alice.

"Okay, you're the speaker of this group."

I said and Alice giggled.

"Pretty much."

"Not to be rude, but I have the patrols timed. What do you want."

Emmet opened his mouth and Alice shut it.

"Bella Swan is my friend."

"Say no more. I don't want to hurt her. I'm keeping my mouth shut. I can't say the same for you guys."

I said and Alice smiled.

"It's all my brother's doing."

She said and Emmet grinned like an idiot, which I was beginning to suspect that he was.

"Edward loves the humans."

Emmet said and I returned his smile. I missed the window five minutes ago so I had fifteen minutes to kill, figuratively. Alice was quick to leave me alone with Emmet after a wink in his direction. I was not amused, but she was all for making me a comedy. I heard the vampire in the woods she was talking to and dismissed it.

"So…"

"Please Emmet, I don't think she's ready for this."

Alice reappeared and gave Emmet a stern look. It was an interesting change and he smiled before disappearing with her. She changed her mind quickly. I could smell the reason why behind me.

"Ah, Edward."

I greeted him warily.

"I'm sorry about them. Alice is loyal. I can't make any excuses for Emmet."

He said with a smile that probably worked on stupid girls. It was very charming, but I'm not a stupid girl. The air of danger and venom around him was like adding sharp edges to every facet of him and yet the charm still shone like a backlight. It was scary and somehow perfectly balanced. If I hadn't seen it I wouldn't have thought any of this was real, but here it was. I just accepted it.

"At least you have a family."

I said and he looked interested, though I was sure that he knew everything there was to know about me already.

"I'm lucky. Vampires don't usually get families."

"Werewolves have the pack. You have covens. We aren't as different as Sam would have us believe."

"That might be true."

He said without giving away anything. That was interesting.

"Kat, it may not be my place, but if I was Jacob I would listen to you."

Edward said and I thought for a moment.

"You can just listen to me."

"I think I might."

He said with a smile. He held out his hand and I shook it. He turned my arm to kiss the back of my hand politely. I knew this game.

"If you want me to smell like vampire to annoy the wolves I have to say I admire your courage."

"I simply find it hard to resist tasting beautiful women."

That was a line. I've never heard it before and it was good, but it was still a line.

"I honestly hope to see you again Edward."

I said and left to make my way home. I was stopped by Quill on the way. The way he was acting made me certain something was happening. He ignored me and I wasn't that important anyway. I tripped and fell. My head hit a rock and I was blindsided by the change. The shock of pain and the vampire's proximity all served to push the change on me. It was the worst pain in my life as all my DNA rearranged and everything I was would forever change. I didn't want to be in the pack with the rest of them. I didn't want to be ordered around.

I couldn't remember how I got home, but I was lying on the floor of my living room, naked and covered in dirt. That was a new low. And now I had to go find my wallet and clothes somewhere in the forest. Stupid change. Stupid vampires. Stupid Bella Swan. Sigh, I guess it can't all be her fault. If it wasn't for her Jacob might have been there for me and I might have been there for him, but that wasn't something I could know now.

I took a shower and there were feathers in my hair. That couldn't be good. I let the wolf take over and that couldn't happen again. Now I could feel it there, in my chest, waiting. Why did I have to be this? I tried not to think about it, but it was all consuming. I had school in an hour and got dressed. Jeans, a white t-shirt, and for the first time I didn't want to wear a jacket. It was freezing outside and I didn't care. I took my temperature at 108 degrees and even though I knew it would say that, it was still unsettling.

My strength was sudden and easier to control than I thought. I still cracked a bunch of my shower tiles, broke a cabinet door in half in my kitchen, and crushed a glass in my hand because I was angry at the thought of Jacob.

"You're bleeding."

I turned to see the one person I liked the least in the world right now. Jacob Black was just the same as he always was to me.

"Yeah, I am."

I was bitter and picked the glass shards out of my hand before the cuts could close up around them. He just watched with realization dawning on him. I was angry and it took me a few minutes to stop the wolf inside me from making me crazy.

"Kat you're a…"

"What did you think?" I was angry and I sighed. "I'm sorry, it's harder than I thought."

I washed the blood from my smooth skin and wished against myself that he would just go away.

"How long…"

"Look, you said…"

"I know what I said."

He cut me off in the middle of cutting him off. How ironic.

"Then leave me alone."

I hated myself for that, but I couldn't look at him anymore. Jacob was perfect to me and every single second of him alone with me was another cut to my soul.

"You don't even want to talk to me?"

He asked with a smile and I had no idea what made him so stupid. I turned to face him and he sort of stared at me.

"Hello?"

I waved my hand in front of his face and he stopped staring. I wasn't wearing a shirt. I got blood on it. It was just a black bra.

"Sorry."

He looked embarrassed and he should be for so many reasons that didn't involve staring at my breasts. This felt like a stupid dream.

"Don't you have a girlfriend to look at?"

I asked bitterly and walked to my room. He stopped me with a hand grasping my wrist and I didn't know why. I was as strong as he was now and yet I still couldn't bring myself to break the contact.

"I'm sorry."

He was just sorry. That was it. Four months of the worst pain imaginable and he was just sorry. That was all he could say. Jacob would never know what he did to me and I didn't want him to know.

"I don't ever want to see you again because you make me sad just looking at how pathetic you are. Ring any bells or did you just forget the last time you said two words to me?"

I pulled my wrist and he pulled back.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop it."

I said as he hugged me. He was always going to be stronger than me. I just let him hug me until he kissed me. For just a few seconds I forgot the world and kissed him back. Then the wolf helped me to remember. The anger was saving me from myself. I pushed him and the passion was doubled when he kissed me harder. I didn't want this.

When everything you've ever wanted comes to you on a silver platter and you don't want it, there has to be something wrong with you. He broke me and now I couldn't even kiss him without feeling my heart crunch.

"Ah! Damn it!"

I punched him in the face.

"You are unbelievable! I just…Ugh!"

I couldn't finish my sentence and stalked to my room. I put on a brown t-shirt and grabbed my backpack.

"Kat…"

"Leave me alone you stupid pain in the ass."

I lashed out at him and he deserved it. I could see how the words landed with harsh cuts to his psyche and I didn't care.

"We were friends once."

He said and I looked at him. I could feel my own fury.

"That never mattered to you before, why should I care?"

"I can't explain myself to you…"

"Then let me. You're one more person in the long line of people that thinks I'm worthless and you're probably right. I have no idea why you came here, why you talked to me, or why you felt you just had to rub it in and kiss me, but four months is too long to pretend nothing happened."

I didn't want to go to school anymore. I dumped my books out of the backpack in front of him and filled it with hiking supplies.

"Where are you going?"

"Hold still."

I grabbed and fixed his broken nose and he swore until he felt it fix.

"That's…better."

He said. I stuffed things in my backpack and swung it over my shoulders. It felt lighter than air.

"Just stop it, Jake. I don't know what you want. I never know what you want. You win. No one knows you."

"You know me and I need that in my life. I came here to tell you what I am."

"Did you? Or did you come to make my life worse?"

"Kat, you're not mean. I know you're not."

I faced him.

"Why do you think I'm bitter now? I don't have a family, I don't have a lot of friends, but I had you. You were the best part of being me. Now you're the worst."

"I never wanted to be this. Bella just…"

"Don't talk to me about Bella. She has nothing to do with us. She didn't even know I existed until I told her."

His eyes widened.

"You didn't…"

"Are you seriously accusing me of hurting her?"

"You just broke my nose and you used to like me."

I almost choked on my anger.

"Get out of my house or I'll level it throwing you out."

"Kat…"

"Get out!"

I shoved him and he just stood there like he was stunned.

"Jacob Black, you are the worst! I went to talk to Bella and I was nice to her. I would never hurt her just to hurt you! You used to stick up for me at school and now you're the one accusing me of the worst things. You can tell Sam I'm not sharing my thoughts with you, ever. I'm in my own pack and that's the way it's going to stay."

"Kat, don't…"

"Don't talk to me. Don't. Maybe one day I'll be able to stand the thought of you, but not today. I'd rather kiss Edward Cullen than you."

He crossed his arms over his shirtless chest. I was so angry I forgot to stared at the sculpted perfection. I was still angry enough to ignore it.

"Don't say things you can't take back."

"That's the thing you get offended by? Of all the things I said, that? The next time I see Edward Cullen I'll kiss him and then I'll join the pack just long enough to make you relive it."

"How do you know how it works? How long have you been a werewolf?"

"I found out months before I changed. Sam told me because Leah blew her cover in front of me."

"He just filled you in?"

"Sam's not as big a jerk as everyone thinks. He's big and he's mean, but there isn't just one side to every coin."

"You said that about me."

"Yes, I did, because I thought you were…someone else. I don't want to talk about it right now. Leave me alone."

I walked to the door before his words stopped me.

"The second you kiss Cullen you're dead to Sam."

"Am I dead to you?"

He had to say it.

"If you choose them over us."

"I'm not choosing anyone. So far, Edward has been nicer to me than you have. This isn't about us or them, this is about me and you. This isn't about me caring even a little bit about what Edward does. We broke up and it's over."

He laughed at me.

"We weren't dating."

"Who the hell cares? When we were together didn't you feel something romantic for me?"

"No."

He laughed it off, but this was the moment for me to bare my soul because I was never going to be able to stand him again. I was never going to force myself to do it.

"Fine. I'm wrong. I cared about you more than I cared about myself. You don't care, fine. I love you, but there is no way in hell I can be in love with you anymore."

"There's no difference."

"There's a difference."

"Katherine, I feel…"

"I don't want to know. I'm better off not hearing the rejection speech. I get it. This is a huge mess and I'm just going to go."

I left quickly and ran fast through the trees. I almost sidestepped a man hard enough to withstand canon fire. I'm glad I didn't hit Edward as human going any speed or I would have been hurt. I was going faster than a human ever could and I was loving the feeling. I crashed into Edward and knocked him down he was surprised. My curtain of curly blonde hair fell around my face. He smelled me, which wasn't that weird if you consider that he's a vampire.

"You changed."

He said with surprise. I was breathless because he knocked the wind out of me. He was a formidable obstacle. His body was a welcome cool feeling, but with my newfound warmth I could hardly feel his frigidity.

"I did."

He smelled so inviting. It was interesting. Sam told me that vampires smell awful, but he smelled like pine and rain and flowers. Not roses…but sweeter. The wolf in me knew what she wanted and leaned closer to him. I froze and couldn't do something so stupid, but he could. He kissed me. He wasn't cold, I was strong enough to handle him and it wasn't like touching a statue, as it was the first time he touched me. He was as soft as a man because I was harder as well. I started to smell something bad about him. My senses must be adjusting.

"I can't."

He said.

"That's a cop out."

"I know."

He kissed me again and rolled on top of me. I heard the rips in his white t-shirt because I made them.

"I can't stop this."

He wanted to bite me. I couldn't feel it. The change in his expression, the struggle within himself.

"Don't stop. I'm not weak anymore."

He did. He bit my neck. His teeth felt blunt to me, but the force behind them was enough to break my skin. Werewolves aren't bulletproof like vampires, but we can heal much faster. He drank my blood. I could make more of it. He stopped himself after a second and just rolled to lie there next to me.

"I haven't had human blood for so many years."

"I'm not a human."

I said. I looked at him and I was interested in what I saw.

"Your eyes."

"Crap. Alice is going to murder me when she sees the red."

"No, not red, better."

"It's not red?"

I shook my head.

"Amber."

His eyes were shining amber gold. Not red, but not gold, amber. It was a lovely change to me.

"Think about the image."

I thought of it and he listened for a moment.

"It's hard to read you, but I think I get it."

"You can read minds?"

"It's my ability. I can read anyone's mind. I can't read Bella's, but I could read yours. It's harder now. Probably because I drank your blood."

"That's interesting."

"I like the silence. It's so hard to find silence without being alone."

"What's it like?"

"To read minds?"

"No, to drink blood."

He thought about it.

"I've never felt less guilty after drinking. It's only because you're alive."

I sat up and leaned over him. I smelled him.

"You smell better."

He smelled me.

"So do you. I didn't know that would happen."

"Neither did I. You're warm."

I put my hand on his chest.

"Because you are. Your blood is alive in me. I can feel it. I can always feel the energy right after."

"You don't have to feel guilty. I'm alive and you can't hurt me too much, look."

I brushed my hair off the right side of my neck to reveal smooth skin. He touched it as if it was an illusion, but he felt how real it was. He felt as warm as a person. My blood must have magical properties. How interesting. Edward smiled.

"I see the ghosts sometimes. I'm afraid that's what you are."

"I'm real, I promise. You didn't kill me. You can even do it again if you want."

"I can't. I just can't."

"Shhh, it's not the same. I'm not a person."

"I don't hunt humans. I just don't. It's the one rule we have about being undead. We don't harm humans."

"I'm not a human and I'm not harmed. How can it count?"

"I don't know. I've lived my whole life avoiding what I just did. It seems impossible to reconcile the two sides of my mind."

He was so honest about the things he felt and it was a welcome change.

"If you like I can draw my blood and give it to you."

He looked at me.

"What's the catch?"

I smiled.

"No catch. I don't believe that organisms should live in a way that conflicts with their nature. Your nature is to drink blood. If you don't like it…"

"No, that's not it at all. I…the taste…I can't describe it. It's like being high. I was never high as a human. I didn't know what it was like until now."

"I wouldn't know."

He smiled.

"I didn't think you would."

I leaned over him and kissed him. I kissed Edward Cullen deeply and he stiffened completely. How strange. I stopped and looked at him.

"What?"

I asked. He looked up at me.

"I'd rather not hurt you."

I rolled my eyes.

"I'm a werewolf. You're not stronger than me."

Edward sat up and looked at me.

"I think I am."

I rolled my eyes and held up my right hand. I bent my middle finger back until it cracked and broke. He was stunned.

"Katherine…"

I set the bone right and it healed almost in an instant. The heavy bruising faded away like nothing.

"You see what I mean? You can't hurt me for long."


End file.
